The many faces of Agent Orange

Center for victims of Agent Orange

The first time I travelled to Vietnam with GVN, I was first exposed to the longterm repercussions of Agent Orange and the mark it has left on this country. There are various centers, primarily in central Da Nang where I am working, that are government run and offer support to the victims, but when it comes down to it, without additional aid, research, and empowerment, the people effected will remain victims and there will not be much progress. The mutations resulting from the dioxin can be extreme, and while there are conditions that would be at least livable in the United States with our sophisticated medical system, many of the effects remain undiagnosed since there is not the technology here, at least not for these people, to give them a proper diagnoses.

On Tuesday I went back to the center we worked at with GVN. I was thrilled to see many familiar

faces and was impressed by the vocational skills that many of the more abled students were learning, such as print making and sewing. We sang and ran around for a while, had a treat, and spent some time communicating any way we could. The kids at this center have incredible energy and an obvious desire to learn, but the one thing this center is lacking is an academic education like the abled children in Vietnam are getting in the public schools. Their desire to learn was demonstrated when a line of children came up to me counting '1,2,3' in English and then looking at me hopeful that I could help them count higher. The physical traits of these children are unlike anything I have seen before. Skin discoloration, underdeveloped ears, noses and appendages, webbed fingers, severe growth stunts, and many other extreme attributes. I don't personally experience the shock factor anymore like I did on my first trip, but it definitely is distressful.

There is one seemingly very abled boy name Hong who is a pupil at this center. He looks about 5 and has a very sharp mind, he was repeating everything I said back and trying hard to comprehend things that I said in English. He has no clear physical disabilities when you look at him and his manner is incredibly sweet with a tiny bit of naughtiness that you would expect from a 5 year old.

However, he is 12 and he can not walk. He has little control over his legs, seemingly no reflexes, and his upper body strength is dismal. I did not realize this for about an hour, because I sat across from him playing and laughing and did not see him being carried from place to place until we moved the group

into a circle to play a game. His father has disappeared and his mother is no longer around so he is being cared for by his elderly grandparents, his grandfather a veteran of the war who spent most of his time in Da Nang. Hong really shook me. All I wanted to do was hold onto him and rub his back and sit with him, but he clearly is aware of his condition and understandably not a fan of being pitied. When his grandfather came to pick him up, Mr.T and Oanh spent time questioning him about Hong's condition, trying to find out if there is an actual diagnosis and if anyone knows exactly why Hong's strength is so low. When we asked Hong to tell us about it, all he said was 'when I turned 2, I could not walk. Now I am 12 and I can not walk.' His grandfather has taken him to the doctor many times, but because they have very little money they can not have any real testing done, not even an x-ray or a catscan, and his grandparents worry about what will happen to Hong after they pass. This happens a lot here to the poor families who have children seemingly sick from the residual effects of Agent Orange. With little research and little resources, there is hardly anything that can be done aside from getting stamped as disabled from Agent Orange and sent to a government run center that just sustains their baseline of life without the opportunities for improvement. There are some, very limited, opportunities here and there, but as of right now there is not a consistent care center that works with the specific disabilities, empowering the victims and setting them up to live a better standard of life. They are trying to get Hong into a new center in Da Nang that boards children who are disabled. Next week we're going to take Hong to the nice hospital in Da Nang and have a full set of tests done to see if there's a treatment plan I can leave the funding for and hopefully begin to execute while I am here. Tomorrow I head to Tam Ky to see the Agent Orange victims center there.

In exciting news, thanks to Anne Stuart, I got in touch with an American veteran living in Da Nang who is working in advocacy with victims as well as with the clean up project that is happening near the airport where most of the dioxin was mixed. I will hopefully meet with him in the next few days. I've also been in touch with a biologist at the University who specializes in Dioxin. I'm eager to learn more and find out about other projects currently happening in Da Nang.

I spent some more time with the sweethearts at the Red Cross Orphanage and this afternoon we're taking the older disabled kids from Social Support to the beach. There is one little guy at the Red Cross who I couldn't put down on Wednesday. His name is Thui and he 3 years old. He has severe Cerebral Palsy and an additional spinal injury that I couldn't understand in translation and he is so clearly uncomfortable most of the time. His cries break my heart because his face is so small and defined that you can see the pain in every inch of his face. He settled down to rest after a while and seemed to calm down, but I am eager to see him again tomorrow morning. 

I'm not completely sure how I feel right now. I am really glad to be here but am already starting to feel the nervousness I do about leaving and figuring out what my next step is that will be most beneficial for what the needs are here. I want to be bring everyone over here to see what an incredible city this is and to also see how much can be done with little money and some motivation. I am also so grateful for the people I've met over the last few years who are making this experience possible and helping me so much while I am here. Without the connections that were provided to me through GVN, there is no way I could be here doing what I am doing right now. Mr.T and Mr.Phuc as well as Mr.Viet are essential and I really feel so glad to know them. My Vietnamese and western friends here area also incredible, supporting me unconditionally and sharing their friendship and passions with me.

Here is a link with a brief description of Agent Orange: Short overview of Dioxin mutation. 

I will write more soon.

c

Life in the future and the sweetest babies

I thought that this being my third time in Da Nang I would know exactly how to conquer jet lag before I even got here, but I was absolutely wrong. No matter how late I force myself to stay awake, I am up bright and early (5:30 at the latest), and then fall asleep around 2 in the afternoon and mess myself up again. It's almost 8PM and I have not slept since I woke up at 5:30, so I have faith that today is the day that I win and jet lag will be defeated. 

I'm sorry it has taken me a bit of time to update. My airline made me check my backpack and then lost it and then cracked my computer screen. And stole my camera and sunglasses. Not the coolest thing that has happened. And I've had a bit of trouble with my internet, but I should be all set now.

I spent my first few days back getting settled in and getting over the constant shock of how hot it is here. I have a really sweet little apartment where I will be living by myself (for my first time in my life, mind you) for the next two months. It is one block back from the South China Sea and has a beautiful roof deck with a really breathtaking view. It is the same building I lived in the last year. I have been debating whether or not I will rent a motorbike and drive myself around and have decided that I most definitely do not. I have panic attacks just being a passenger, so I think it is probably the better decision for me to not be the driver.

Today was busy and exciting as I got to spend time at 3 of the centers where I will be this summer. I spent the morning at the Red Cross orphanage. I haven't been there since my first trip to Da Nang in 2010 and it is much different than I had remembered. There are 23 children in the room where I will be working, most of whom are disabled with conditions such as Hydrocephalus and Cerebral Palsy. What I found to be the most heartbreaking at this center is that there are several children who seemed abled when they were born and were adopted, and when it was discovered that they were disabled their

parents decided against keeping them, which is more than I can wrap my head around. It is a beautiful and clean space with shaded swings and a small outdoor play space, but it is underfunded and they have more children then they've had in a while without the resources to really care for them. Mr.Phuc and Mr.T (two of the men I will be working with this summer- I met them originally in 2010), visit the center every day and provide as much care as they can (which is a lot, it is amazing what they are putting out). Mr.Phuc is a physio therapist, so he works with the disabled children, and Mr.T does whatever is needed from taking the children to the hospital to feeding to first aid. I will visit this center with them 4-5 times a week. I've found that at every center I visit the children are so eager for physical contact and affection that they cling immediately, thrilled to have one-on-one (or two-on-one or three-on-one) attention for a while. The caregivers do everything they can, but there is only so much hands on time 3 caregivers can give 23 children. My duties today involved diaper changing, feeding, swinging and hugging. 

In the afternoon I went back to Social Support to see the sweet, funny children I have missed so much. I was greeted by a laughing and smiling Tinh who was ready to play as soon as we came in. A lot of good has happened since I was at Social Support last year. It is cleaner and there is an air conditioner in the disabled children's' room. They have also redesigned the rooms so that the disabled boys are together and the disabled girls are together, sharing a play space. I was so, so excited to see all the children at Social Support and am thrilled that I will get to be with them a good amount this summer. On Thursday afternoon we will take them to the beach and then I am heading to Tam Ky with my friend Mark for a few days to visit the orphanages there as well as large center for victims of Agent Orange. There are a lot of projects that I will be able to help fund at Social Support center this summer, including getting a separate cooker for the disabled children so that they can have food that they can actually digest. The food that the rest of the people at Social Support eat is much too hard on their systems and therefore many of them are losing weight. I spent my time at Social today helping Mr.Phuc with the physiotherapy, holding hands and going for walks with the older disabled children, feeding the babies, and strolling with Tinh and Hua My in their beautiful new strollers. I really love this place and am glad and grateful that Mr.Phuc and Mr.T are investing so much of their time and energy in the children that live there, and I can't wait to help them out in any way that I can. This is really the place that made me fall in love with Vietnam first and the people there are incredibly important to me. It's funny how different it feels now opposed to my first time here. I think my heart broke my entire first trip and it was a really incredible experience. Everything was new and eye opening and often felt really overwhelming. I think I felt comfortable with the children pretty quickly, but my whole first trip was raw and breathtaking. It is still incredible, but all of me feels comfortable now and while I am still heartbroken for these children, it isn't as raw and I feel more able to be proactive. I don't feel like a deer in headlights anymore and my heart is in my chest instead of sitting heavy in my throat. 

After Social I visited with the children at Mary's House who we got to spend so much quality time with last summer. They are all wonderful and thriving and we will take them to the beach some time next week. My friend Lanh is directing the house with my other friend Diem and everyone has done such a nice job making the house feel like a home and taking care of all the children there. I got them ice cream and played a bit and will see them again tomorrow afternoon. In the coming week I will spend time at the two centers in Da Nang that care for victims of Agent Orange and next week I am meeting with a Vietnamese biologist who has researched Dioxin extensively and will hopefully be a critical aid for me this summer. 

It feels so good to be back. I have an incredible group of Vietnamese friends, but also a really wonderful set of Western friends and feel really supported. It's going to be a sensational summer, I can tell already.

My fundraising site will remain open until my last week here, and again- all the money I raise goes directly towards funding projects for the children, I funded the actual trip myself. I will write about our projects here, so if there is something you are particularly interested in, let me know! The site can be found at Connie's Fundraising Site.

To those of you in the Western Hemisphere- happy Monday from the future! I do feel homesick but am grateful that Skype let's me stay in touch for less than my phone costs at home (!!).

Pictures below and I'll write again soon.

Love,

Connie